My Love/Hate Relationship with Anthro

Oh Anthro{pologie}. I have such a love/hate relationship with you.

I love your merchandise. I hate your price tags. I hate them, and I most certainly don't understand them.

I remember getting the Anthropologie catalogue in the mail way back in the day before it was the super cool place to shop. It wasn't quite so painful to look at then when no one else was buying anything from there either. But now, you go anywhere and it seems like more often than not when you ask anyone who is wearing a really cute dress where they it got, they excitedly say, "Anthropologie!" to which I respond in my head, "of course you did."

I love to shop. But shopping to just look, knowing that you aren't going to buy is torture to me. Can you really even call it shopping if you know you aren't going to buy anything? For me, "shopping" at anthro is just setting myself up for disappointment. I could buy some of the things that I want there if I really wanted to.... but I wouldn't be able to sleep at night knowing I paid $88 for a cotton shirt that has the same quality as something I could have bought at Gap, Old Navy, or sometimes even Target. I know that Anthropologie has very unique things that you can't get other places, and that's the part that really kills me! I can't get the same shirt at Gap, Old Navy, or Target.

My friends have a love only relationship with anthro. If there is any hatred there, it isn't very evident. Maybe they are just more optimistic than I am or they have a whole lot more self control than I do. I don't know. I do feel cool since the only Anthropologie anywhere close to Nashville is not even 2 miles from my house, so I don't mind when people come in from out of town and want to go.

My 2 college roommates Rachel and Jamie, LOVE anthro. I think that every time rachel went somewhere in college where they had one, she came home with an amazing new dress. She also had this amazing ability to find the perfect anthro dress on sale, as does Jamie now. (Don't get me started on most of their "sales" though. Using the world "sale" there is extremely

misleading- it is typically "slightly discounted" at best). They both however have the ability and patience to keep an eye on things online and grab them as soon as the price finally bottoms out....digressing.... In college, every time Rachie came home with a new dress, we ooohed and ahhhed over it, but 3 or 4 years ago it was something that was more so unique to her than anything else. Now that I live in a city with an Anthropologie and around people who love their clothes, I just find myself bitter/jealous when someone has a super cute dress or top that I want but can't justify buying.

ANYWAY, how this thought train all came to be: Jamie came in town 2 weeks ago and after church we went to the Hill Center (Anthro's home in Nashville) to eat lunch and check out the liquidation "sales" (again, misleading) at Swoozies. My anthro loving bestie clearly had to make a stop across the street at Anthropologie and I don't blame her.... She was taking engagement pictures in a few days and had been hanging onto a $100 gift card from there for a while.

This trip was just like most others- we walk in, take in the distinct lovely smell of the store, admire their unique display at the entrance, and immediately head to the sale section at the front of the store with all of the "home stuff".

It never fails- I find some useless thing on sale

there that is actually not just "slightly discounted" and somewhere in my mind I think, "I have to have this." I mean clearly- who doesn't HAVE to have cute ceramic measuring cup that look like birds, flowers or matryoshka dolls!?

They are just SO practical! Or Not. Okay, so those are actually never on sale. I usually end up with a juice glass or one of those letter wall hanging things- a quilted cotton "S" that my husband would roll his eyes at if I came home with.

This day, it was this blue glass that I thought would make a fantastic vase. Truth be told, it would make a cute little vase, but if I saw that exact same blue glass at Wal-Mart I would look right over it and go on my merry way. But not here. It is the one thing that makes me feel like I could walk out of the store feeling better about myself with.

I then proceed to walk around the store with this item that I have to have like a security blanket, flipping over price tag after price tag on the clothes that I want SO badly, the whole time thinking to myself, "You have got to be kidding me!!!" followed by, "Wouldn't it be so great if I were rich enough to be able to justify buying these things- that my wealth would be so great that $88 for a shirt would seem like $28!?" NO! Clearly it would not you materialistic, selfish human being! (Have I mentioned that all rational thinking goes out the door when I set foot through the front door?)

So I make it through the store in a whopping 7 minutes as I don't even give myself the time to even get remotely attached to anything that I see. I tried things on one time at anthro. It was torture. I loved 2 of the dresses that I tried on, but had absolutely no reason to buy- no upcoming special occasions that I could justify spending $248 on 1 dress for. Anywhere else, I wouldn't have thought twice about it and bought them both. But there was no way I was going to spend $248 for 1 dress, never the less $500 for 2. I left the dressing room mad at the world. To deal with my sorrow, I bought 3 Christmas ornaments that were like 96% off (since this was mid January) so that I'd feel like I'd accomplished something. I made a vow to never try on clothes there again (I'll let you know how that goes).

This time while I wait for J to look through all of the dresses, I find this wonderful comfy red chair and start people watching (still with little blue glass in hand). I watch as people walk by with an arm full of clothes. "Hello! Don't you see the price tag!? Don't you know that you have about $1500 worth of clothes there that should MAYBE be worth $300 max!?" I sit, and I judge. But if I'm honest, its not because I think that they are "bad" for wanting or buying it, it's because I am bitter because I want it all myself. Why? Because it all screams to me, "You want me, but you can't have me!"

Evidence of the junk in my heart? I think so. I am a shopoholic and I have been known to spend rediculous amounts of money on clothes, to the extent that if you looked at my closet you'd think the same things about me. I might not spend $88 on one shirt but I'd guarantee you that I would spend $88 on 3 that I don't need. In reality, we all want what we think we can't have. It's the essence of the fall. And call me the first Adam, because I'm the queen of this lustful effect when it comes to material things. I continue to believe that having something else, especially another cute shirt, is going to make me feel better about myself. I'd deny it if you asked me, but I'd be lying. I allow my thought process to completely change into thinking like someone who defines herself by what and how much she has or the name on little white shopping bag that she walks to her car with instead of by who she is because of a wonderful King, who has ransomed and redeemed her from the effects of the fall.

Caedmon's Call wrote a song a long time ago called "This World" that I think describes it best:

"This world has nothing for me and this world has everything. All that I could want and nothing that I need."

I do love Anthropologie. I love the creativity that their designers have used in creating things- and that is probably why it is so expensive. They have beautiful things that you can't find anywhere else. Someone with a lot of talent made those ceramic flower measuring cups- Talent that the BG gave them that I don't have. (If I did, we all know that I would have made them by now). That's something to delight in, not to be bitter about. I don't think that any one who shops there is any "worse" or "better" than anyone who doesn't. I think that the BG made some part of us as women to enjoy beauty and with part of that comes looking at style and fashion..... and with that comes the fun of shopping. Maybe this summer I will cut back on my shopping everywhere else (since clearly I need nothing else) and save to buy a cute anthro dress that I can wear to some of the many wedding functions that I get to go to. Like this BEAUTIFUL dress that Ashley wore to her rehearsal dinner the other night and looked amazing in-

This isn't about shopping or even about "stuff". My issue is a heart issue of insecurity in who I am. It seems so foolish to determine my worth in things. I have been blessed beyond what I can fathom and bitterness and jealously are incongruent with that. I hate that I daily find myself living and thinking incongruent with who I am in Him. But that's the beauty of the what we've been given in Him. I am so secure in the fact that the BG does not look at me and scold me for having such materialistic, selfish thoughts. He looks at me and delights in me because I am His child.

At the end of the day, I walked out of the dressing room happy because Jamie found this fantastic navy dress that was perfect for her engagement pictures, and with her $100 gift card she didn't have to pay more than $50 f0r it. I left the store satisfied- and without the little blue glass or cotton "S" wall hanging. I'll save those for the next go around.

So the next time I go shopping with one of you, remind me that having that thing that I want but can't have (or the ones that I can and will probably buy) isn't going to make me feel any better about myself. I will always enjoy looking at and shopping for clothes, but that doesn't have to produce bitterness in my heart. I have the freedom to just enjoy these things that the BG uses to bring a little bit of joy to my life. At the end of the day, I know that the joy I get from any of these things pales in comparison to the joy that I have in Him.

Joyfully free from the worship of stuff,